I hope that all you blog readers won’t hate me for this posting, but the fact is that I don’t think I will ever be able to post anything on this site unless I get this confession off my chest first. So you can call me a little old-fashioned, but I’ve been struggling with this “Mirth & Matter” blog concept.
I like writing and philosophical/ interesting conversations. I enjoy blogging and making various website-postings, so my friends and family can read about my life at their own convenience. Zach has been as inclusive as any blog could be- we all experience tons of “mirth & matter” daily. Additionally he’s been patient and so kindly encouraging- “if the urge ever strikes you to write...”
I’ve been wondering where my hesitations about posting on this blog are coming from? I really feel a little squeamish and guilty at the same time. I’m sure nobody else has noticed my feelings, but the fact is that I have been thinking about posting something for months. I can’t even get myself to COMMENT, let alone post my own writing. What is my problem?!
I think my problem is that I have never met most of the writers who contribute. At least in creating my own websites, I have the illusion that only people I know will visit them, so I don’t feel like I am sharing with complete strangers. I like to know who my audience will be. I feel a little strange about online interactions with people who I’ve never met face-to-face, and I get that creepy “online-stalker feeling.” I’m very visual and I like to picture people’s faces in my head when I communicate with them. Virtual people don’t have faces in my head. It freaks me out a little bit (although I’m sure you all have nice faces). I wonder, “Doesn’t anybody else feel this way?!”
Apparently not because my husband posts thoughtful things on this blog without any internal struggle what-so-ever. He doesn’t feel compelled to meet everybody on the contributor list, and I don’t think he has met anybody except two people- Zach and Chris.
What’s changed this time? Well first of all, I got Google Reader. This is a wonderful little program that allows me to read all my friends’ blog updates in one place. It looks like e-mail with new postings appearing in an “inbox” of sorts. I don’t feel like I am constantly catching up on blog entries because I’m notified whenever I check my e-mail if something new has been posted. So, I’ve acquired a new sense of empowerment.
Second, I decided that this blog needs my perspective. For example, there are only a few female contributors, so it’s a pretty “manly” blog right now- that’s definitely not an insult, and it’s a bit sexist of me to say. But just look at that list- 45 posts about politics and 1 about food (ZERO about chocolate)! And only a few posts in my main areas of interest- 3 about health, and 1 about religion. I like all the other topics too, but maybe I have something different to offer that would be good for the variety of mirth & matter.
Finally, I am pretending that I know you right now. The last few posts have been made by people I really do know. And I discovered that I can see little photos of many of you when I click on your names (AHA!) and read two sentences about who you are (and would the rest of you PLEASE post your photo and show me who you are because the empty box is so disturbing). I’m trying to convince myself that the world is small so maybe someday I’ll meet you and you won’t be virtual people anymore. And besides, you all know Zach somehow, right? So you must be nice people.
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1 comment:
Thanks for voicing your thoughts, Liz, and for joining our online conversation, even if the individuals involved are rendered abstract by the web. We're all looking forward to getting more of the female perspective (it's something I've thought about before, but many of the girls I invite decline.. I'll have to keep pestering more people:) and more posts on religion and health from someone with some expertise in both fields will be most welcome. Glad to know you've overcome your inhibitions about posting here and are now part of the club!
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